BONJOUR MES AMIES!
From le Club de BS.
Le Club from hell.
Le News
Birthdays:
[one_half]Une membre du le club turnezed 80 du les years en le monthe du May.
I will not nommer any nommers, mais she lookez juste like this.
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Le Local News: Shirlee-Bunny will be retirezed en le commencemente du June.
Le Sports: Aaron du le Rogers wonnezed 50,000.00 du les dollares on Jeopardy.
Les Classifieds: Le mason du le mere du Giselle soldez en juste twenty deux du les heurs en le market.
Le Nationale News: Claudette flewez across le nation to Californicationne, por to visite les petite enfantes.
Le Locale Weather: As picturezed above, Clementine, Maxwelle Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam, were kind enough to flyez en une 1941 Piper 53 to bringez vous le weather on le spot, LE SKYE ES BLEU.
B.S. Education
Medicines that commence avec le V - Viagra et Vicodin
Okay, enough avec all du la serious news.
Shirlee-Bunny's Story
Shirlee-Bunny: So vous see, ma jeune fille was en le automobile avec moi, et we arrestezed por to pee at le Mc du Donalds. We drovez around en le back en le alley et Tinelle spottezed une mademoiselle enside une van en le other lane. Le mademoiselle was asleepez avec une foote en le brake et le van was still runnezing. We did not what por to do. So, we callezed le 911. Et then Tinelle crawlezed enside le van from le door du le side et she movezed le main du la mademoiselle off du le shifter et she puttezed le van ento park. This wokez up le mademoiselle, et le mademoiselle said, "I am okay. Juste let moi go." Et juste then le E et le M et le S, arrivezed por to savez le jour.
Claudette: I try not por to lookez ento other du les peoples' vehichles.
Shirlee-Bunny: Et deux jours before that, Tinelle reportezed une van that was en le creek. It was upsidez du la down.
Le Club: What?
Clementine: That es non grand deale. Ma automobile has been en le creek before.
Claudette: Mine too.
Le Club: Gasp.
Clementine: Mais, it was forty-five du les years ago.
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[one_half_last]Forty-five du les years ago? Porquoi do they parlez about les things that happenezed forty-five du les years ago? I would have juste been une bebe then.[/one_half_last]
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Moi too. I was juste une bebe, forty-five du les years ago. Mais, I was even cuter than vous were.
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Le Mere's Story
Le Mere: I had une check up por ma leg that es brokezed. Le doctor said to moi, "Genvieve, did votre long term care, kickez en yet?" I said, "Non. " He said, "Non?" I said, "Well, I am at home. I am not at le mason du la nursing any du la more." He said, "When did vous goez home?" I said, "I have beenez home por eleven du les jours." Et he said, "Oh, mon Dieu. Vous es fantastique!"
Le Club: Let us drinkez to that.
MAY, B.S. QUOTES
That would be une oui, about le sex.
Vous createz le atmosphere por all du les peoples aroundez vous.
Look how we turnezed out.
I rear endezed some du la body.
I have une sore derriere.
It is une house made ento une churche?
I cannot stay late, mais I am determinzed to drink.
I got firezed.
We havez le golf channel at ma mason.
What corner do vous wantez to lay in?
Vous leftez on les good terms, righte?
He lookez juste like Yosemite du la Sam.
Non. Not really. I got firezed.
I adorez ma neuvaux automobile.
Chien Lit.
It es not how vous feelez. It es how vous lookez.
When vous feelez like shite, vous lookez like shite et that makes vous feelez like shite.
Juste because it es wrong does not meanez that it did not happenez.
Juste because it happenezed, does not meanez that vous need to talkez about it.
She toldez moi that I would make une terrible mere por une fille.
I was the surprise gueste speaker. I didn't even knowez about it.
He cookez le dinner every soir.
Chien Lit.
Je suis sad, mais, pardonne ma French, fuckez 'em.
Vous wish.
Vous dress all confusezed, mais somehow vous lookez excellente.
What do vous meanez by uptown?
I rememberez when ma pere draggezed moi out du le Room du la T, by le scruff du ma neck.
He es tres sweete.
Chien Lit.
Et Now por le Shake du Jour News
That does not look good.
Does that meanez that we es all Losers?