BS Club Goes All Techy


"Get the App," she said.
And so we did.
Because Angelique is brilliant.
We in Wisconsin, like so many states, are currently under a stay safe at home law to help keep from spreading COVID-19. And the House Party app seemed to be a perfect solution for us girls to get together for our Wednesday afternoon BS gathering.
Except for one thing.
We are old.

What this app could use is an IT department.
The meeting was to begin at 4:30 PM.
I was in my loft at the jigsaw puzzle table. My phone was propped against a properly chilled bottle of Jagermeister and they were both aimed at me.
There was a buzzing notification.
Jasmine is in the house, said my phone.
"Oh, my God! Jasmine," I said. "I can see you!"
Her little face smiled, and she waved.
"Hi Millie."
And then another notification.
It was Angelique.
"Look. There she is. Hi Angelique," we said.
Angelique was way down on the bottom right-hand quarter of my screen and way down on the bottom of that square. I could see a lot of ceiling and I think maybe a staircase behind her.
"Hey," she says. And then her sister Canary walked past and waved.
Another notification buzzed and in popped Giselle. She was sitting at her kitchen table looking like a talk show host.
"Hi Giselle," we squares waved.
And then Angelique and her sister Canary turned into a purple square, and they disappeared, and Giselle's square grew into a large rectangle.
Claudette's face popped in over on the left side of my phone and Giselle's rectangle turned back into a square.
"Hi Claudette," we said.
My sister Louisa buzzed into the house. She was in the upper left-hand corner.
"Hi, Louisa," we said.
And then Giselle disappeared into a purple square.
"Hey, Giselle, you are a purple square."
"What?" we heard her say.
"You are a purple square."
And then Shirlee-Bunny was waving to everybody from up in the right-hand corner. It looked like a ceiling fan was growing out of her head.
Angelique's face reappeared and Claudette disappeared.
And then I heard them say, "Millie, we can hear you, but we can't see you. Turn on your camera."
I didn't do anything.
And then, then they popped back into my sight and Claudette was moved down to the right-hand bottom square.

Her lips were moving.
But we couldn't hear her.
"What happened to Angelique?" says Jasmine. And then Jasmine got a call on her headset.
"Some of us are still working you know," she says. "I have to take this."
Shirlee-Bunny explained to the faces and the purple squares in front of her that the reason her mug shot was hanging on the wall at the gas station was because she forgot to pay for her gas.
"I went inside and got a coffee, a pack of cigs and a loaf of bread," she says. "Everybody around me was talking about the pandemic and I totally forgot that I had filled my tank."
"Couldn't they have just called you?" said a purple square.
"What happened to Lousia? I can only see her cupboards."
"Millie, turn your camera on."
"It is on.
Claudette you are a purple square now."
"Mine says connection problems," I said.
They didn't hear me.
"Has anybody seen Angelique?"
"It says she is trying to get into the house."
"Angelique? Are you there?"
"There she is."
"There she goes."
"Now, I have three purple squares and Claudette is still talking, but I can't hear her. Can anybody hear Claudette?"
Giselle popped back into her spot on the right side.
It was time for a shot of Jagermeister.
"Cheers!" we all said. Some of us were in view. Some of us were purple squares. And some of us had given up entirely."
But it sure was fun to see everybody.
That we could see.
And to laugh.
And to not drink alone.


Please stay safe everybody.
Prayers for all.

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