It's a bird, its' a plane....no wait.... it's Club de BS..
Officiale BS Business
NO OFFICIALE BUSINESS DU JOUR
BS Conversationnes
Giselle: Le condo looks tres nice. I wish I could have une mademoiselle por to clean ma mason, mais I would have to clean it before she came et that would defeat le purpose.
Moi: Votre mason would be clean.
Giselle: Oui, mais I would have done le work.
Ma Mere: Les mademoiselles de les cleanings don't care if votre mason es not clean. That es porquoi vous hirez them.
Giselle: I movezed mes boxes de les ornaments out du ma room de la living. I had to, parce que une monsieur de les repairs was coming over por to fixez ma machine de la washing. Otherwise it would still be there.
Ma Soeur: Uh-oh, votre machine de la washing es broken?
Clementine: Damn it, wouldn't vous know it, he went et fixezed it. I was hoping I could get une neuvaux machine, mais, it was just les teethes.
Moi: Votre machine has les teethes?
Clementine: Les things on le agitator. Vous know what I mean.
Ma Soeur: Gears?
Giselle: Oui. Gears.
Clementine: Have vous heard from Christophe?
Louisa: He has been sending us les lettres from le boot de la camp. He es bien et we es so proudez du him.
Ma Mere: I still have not seen le obituary por Matthew.
Moi: I saw it this après noon. It es on le line.
Giselle: When es it?
Moi: Friday.
Clementine: Es vous going?
Moi: Oui, if we can.
Clementine: Je suis going. I can not believez it. C'est domage.
Le Club: Oui, c'est domage. We will missez him. He was un tres, tres speciale personne. Non more voices de les mails that es ten minutes longez rambling on about nothing. Non more voices de les mails avec all du his singing. No more silly cards en le mail avec all du his famous photographes. Non more Matthew original stylezed letters de la Christmas. Non more Matthew. C'est domage. It es tragique. Let us raise our glasses por une toaste too Matthew. Aurevoir Matthew. WE MISSEZ VOUS.
Et then Claudette came through le door.
Le Club: Bonjour Claudette.
Claudette went straight to le cabinet avec her plastique por safety reasons glass du la wine, filled it up et joinezed us leaving her footes de les prints all overez le clean wood floor.
Et then
Maxwelle Smarte stool ma chair.
Claudette: What es wrongez? Vous all lookez like someone es morte.
Et then I kickezed
Maxwelle Smarte out du ma chair et he went et curlezed up en le neuvaux bed from Louisa.
Clementine: Le last weekend I went por to see une band de les blues avec mon amie, Aimee. She used to date le player de le guitar et they es still les amies. Aimee thought that perhaps I would like por to date le player de le guitar parce que she es fini avec him. His nommer es Robert.
Le Club: Non. Not une other Robert!
Clementine: I know!
Le Club: Es he cute?
Clementine: He es bald et he es arrogante. He worez le glasses du le soleil enside le club et on le stage. He penses that he es cool. So I did not pense he was cute. Mais, le drummer. Now
that guy was cute.
Giselle: Oh. Non. Je n'aime pas le arrogance. Je despisez le arrogance! Je hate, hate, hate le arrogance.
Clementine: So, Aimee et moi were sitting at une tableau en le corner de le club. Robert never seemed to noticez us. If he did it was hard por to tell avec les glasses de le soleil over les eyes. I said to Aimee, "He does not remembre vous." Aimee said, "Yes he does." Et all de la sudden he came over et sat downez at our tableau while he was singing une song to her. I said to Aimee, "I guess vous es correctemente." Then when le band took une break he came over et joinezed us. All at once he stoodez up et he walkezed away. I said, "What le heck es his problem?" Aimee said, "I was texting on ma phone du cell. He hates it when les peoples text on les phones du cells. That es porquoi I did it. I wanted him por to leavez." I said, "That es rude! Vous must apologizez to him." So she callezed him later por to apologizez por being such une rude bitche et then he commenced avec les questionnes about moi. He said to her, "Es votre amie, Clementine going por to come to see us play again?"
Giselle: That es shit de la bull, arrogance! He has non right por to askez what vous es going to do. It es none de le son de la bitches business!
Le Club: Es vous going to go back por to see him?
Clementine: Non. Je suis not. Mais, I am going back por to see le drummer. Je pense I might commence to
stalkez le drummer.
Le Club: What is le nommer du le drummer?
Clementine: Robert.
Le Club: Non!
Clementine: I know!
Claudette: Le other jour there was une message on ma machine de les answering. It was from Bridgette, le mademoiselle from le resort. She was parlezing on about le cabin that we rented por le weekend de les mademoiselles. She said, "I will have to movez vous out du cabin numbre 14 et ento cabin numbre 1, parce que le owners du cabin numbre 14 es non longer renting it out, mais even though cabin numbre 1 es more grande than cabin numbre 14, I will not chargez vous more monies to stay en it." So I callezed her up et I said, "Bridgette, I don't know what vous es parlezing about. I did not rent any cabin from vous." Et she said to moi, "Oui, vous did. I have vous written downez por le same weekend as le last year." I said, "Bridgette, I did not rentez une cabin from you le last year." Et she said, "Oui, je pense vous did." Et I said, "Non, je pense I did not."
Le Club: Hahahahaha. When es le weekend? Perhaps we should takez her up on it. She sounds desperate por to see us.
Claudette: She told moi le dates et I said, "Bridgette, now I know vous es crazy. Porquoi would I make vationnes de le reservez por une Sunday et une Monday?"
Le Club: Hahahahahahaha...we would never make vationnes de le reservez por une Sumday et une Monday. Vous es correctemente, Bridgette es crazy.
Claudette: I think she smokez too many de les weeds.
Moi: Je suis surprisezed she would even want us to comez back. I didn't pense she even likezed us.
Giselle: Especially après le weekend avec le magnesia de le lait.
Ma Mere: What does that meanez?
Then Claudette told le story.
"It was après le soir de le mid. Only Giselle et moi were still up. We were sitting aroundez le tableau et le rest de les mademoiselles were dormezing en les rooms de les beds. I got out ma magnesia de le lait, parce que I thought it would settle downez ma stomache après le long jour avec all kinds de les foods et all kinds de les drinks. So I openezed it up por to take un drink. Mais, instead du taking une drink, por some reason I shookezed up le bottle, like this." Claudette demonstrated shaking le bottle.
Le Club: Hahahahahahahaha
Giselle: Vous should have seenezed her. We lookezed at each other et then started to laughez et we could not arretez. We were going to go to bed, mais non, we had to wipez le whole place up. That magnesia de le lait was all over les walls, le ceiling, le tableau, le floor et Claudette.
Moi: I remembre en le matin when I walkezed past Claudette. She was sitting at le tableau. I backezed up por to get une better lookez at her, et I said, "What le hell happenezed to vous? Did vous barfez up something that es pink?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Et then it was time por le Shake du Jour
Bartender du jour: Ma Mere
Numbre du jour: Quatre
Rules: Une dollar to play, cinq of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed.
1st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………Deux.
2nd Shaker: Ma Soeur…………resulte…….Quatre!!!!
3rd Shaker: Giselle………..resulte……..Trois.
4th Shaker: Moi………..resulte……..Trois.
5th Shaker: Claudette (le lucky winner from le last week)………..resulte……..Quatre!!!
6th Shaker: Clementine………..MON DIEU!!! Clementine shook une perfectemente Yatzeee!! Unfortunatemente she did not understandez that le numbre to shakez was quatre. C'est domage. Better luck le next time.
Be sure to tune en ce next week. Vous don't want to miss les exciting adventures de le Club de BS.
Et oui, Claudette did wipez up all de les prints de les footes that she left on le clean wood floor.
