BS Club Minutes December 4, 2014

Red BS Logo

Le Club EVERYONE is talking about.

BS Date

Officiale BS Business

Tres excitemente officiale BS Business!! Ma shipmente arrivez from le, U, et le, P, et le, S.  So Clementine et Giselle were giftezed  les neuvaux mugs.

BS Conversations

Ma Soeur:  Porquoi do they dress her like that when she es on le television? Ma Mere:  She always wears les cardigans that arretez at le widest part de les hips. Giselle:  I don't pense she has une personne de le robe de la warde.  Je pense she dresses herself. Ma Soeur:  She does have une personne de la robe de la warde.  It says le nommer at le fini de les news. Moi:  Es vous trashing le mademoiselle de la news again? Le Club:  Oui. Moi:  Sven can't stand her et it es not les cardigans that arretez at le widest part de les hips.  He says she knows nada about les weathers. Ma Soeur:  Well, she es not le mademoiselle de les weathers.  She es just filling en when she does les weathers. Giselle: She es ridiculous when she does le report de les pollens.  Une jour she said, "Le count de les chick woods es up." Le Club:  So? Giselle: "Who en le heck cares about les counts de les chick woods? Moi: What es le chick woods? Giselle: Je ne sais pas. Ma Mere: Maybe les peoples that es allergic to le chick woods know what it es et care about les counts. Moi: What es vous allergic too Giselle? Giselle:  Air. Le Club: Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha. Et then ma mere pulled out une drawing de la charcutier de mon pere.  "I found it when I was cleaning out le cabinet de les files.  Le artiste who drewez le picture, drewez it when votre pere was en le army et stationed en Germany." Dad charicature Moi: Isn't that when I was conceivez? Ma Mere: Ummm. Moi:  I don't pense that picture looks like mon pere. Ma Mere:  It es une charcutier, Millie. Giselle:  Ma niece-en-law finally did it.  She has lost 200 de les pounds! Ma Soeur:  Did she turn ento une bitche? Giselle:  Mais non! Ma Souer:  I would hate por her to become une Bitchy Bitche like vous did le time I dreamez that vous got tres skinny.  Vous were une grande off de le show, spinning aroundez et aroundez en votre horizontal stripez dress. BS Club: Hahahahahahahahahaha Et then Clementine arrivez. BS Club:  Bonjour Clementine. Ma Mere:  What une cheerful blousez vous es wearing. Clementine:  Oh, Merci. I dressezed por to be happy ce matin. Le Club:  Does that work? Clementine:  Non! BS Club:  Hahahahahahahahahahahaha Et then Clementine had une story to tell.  "Vous see, I like to say, LIVEZ EN LE MOMENTE.  It es ma saying. I believe en ma saying. Et I say it all de la time.  Mais, there es une personne en ma extended famille who will not arretez avec ma saying when she sees moi.  Et she penses that I am still crying parce que ma fille moved to Kentucky.  Mais, I am not.  I have made it through le transitionnne. I have arretez avec les tears.  I have movezed on, parce que I LIVEZ EN LE MOMENTE.  So, I saw le personne that I am parlezing about at le bar de les wines le last week.  She yelled across le room to moi, "Clementine! Vous must LIVEZ EN LE MOMENTE."  Et I yelled back, "Oh! Ferme la bushe!" Le club:  GASP.  Silence. Clementine:  What? I admitez, I am une bitche et I accept ma responsibility por ma bitchiness. Le Club: Hahahahahahahahahahaha  Then what happened? Clementine:  Le next jour she postez on le book de la face, por everyone en le world to see, "Clementine, Vous must LIVEZ EN LE MOMENTE." Le Club: GASP.  Et then what happened? Clementine:  I postez back, "Excusez moi?  Who es not living en le momente?  Vous know, mon dear, that most de les peoples who preachez, usually preachez about le thing that es les weakness.  Perhaps vous should LIVEZ EN LE MOMENTE. Le Club:  GASP.  Then what happened? Clementine:  She de-amied moi! Le Club:  Non!  Then what happened? Clementine:  She de-amied ma whole famille! Le Club:  Non! Clementine: Oui. Et now, I have another story to tell.  Can I tell another story?  It has been une mauvais week ce week. I got out le Jagermeister.  Maxwelle Smarte brought up his Casino Toy with Morrie Amsterdam at his side. Giselle: Vous can tell another story Clementine.  Just don't bring out les shows de les slides from Europe. Le Club: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha Clementine:  Well, vous see, une bossy madame at l'ecole wanted to de les Santas de les Secrets.  Every year she wants to play le game. I said to her,  "Merci beaucoup madame, mais les Santas de les Secrets es not por moi. " Et le madame spun aroundez et said to moi, "Oh Clementine! Es vous going to be une grande Scrooge?"  Et then she said, "Vous must not be une Christianne." Le Club yelled. "What? What does that have to do with les Santas de les Secrets? Clementine:  Et then I said to her, "What en le hell does les Santas de les Secrets et buying a bunch de les shits to give to peoples who es going to re-giftez all de les stuffs anyway have to do avec moi being une Christianne? It doesn't mentionne anything about les Santas de les Secrets en le Bible."  Et then I said to her, "Who do vous pense wrote le Bible?"  Et she said to moi, "Mon Dieu wrote le Bible."  Et I said, "Mais non.  It was not votre Dieu. It was les messieurs who wrote it.  Peter, Paul... Moi:  Et Mary. Le Club: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha Et then ma mere said, "Lipizanner." Le Club: What?  What es vous parlezing about? Ma Mere:  That es le nommer I was trying to remembre le last week.  Vous know, they es les horses that dancez en les shows. Giselle:  They es horses de les wars.  Et je pense there es deux z's en le nommer. Ma Mere: Mais non.  There es just une de les z's. Giselle: Es vous sure?  Je really pense they es deux de les z's. Ma Mere:  Non, just une.  I looked et up. Giselle: Hmm. That word always makes moi uncomfortable. (Just por le recorde le word has deux de les z's...................UK Government & European Commission recognised, National Studbook Association for the Lipizzaner. Member of the Lipizzan International Federation.)

Et then it was time por le Shake du Jour

Casino Day

Bartender du jour:  Ma Mere

Numbre du jour: UNE
Rules: Une dollar to play, cinq of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed.
1st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………Deux. 2nd Shaker: Ma Soeur…………resulte…….Deux.  3rd Shaker: Gisellle………..resulte……..Deux. 4th Shaker: Moi………..resulte……..Une. 5th Shaker: Clementine………..resulte……..TROIS!!!  Yay! Une free drinkez por Clementine.  She could use une. Alors!  Again non winner de le pot at le Club de BS. Et then les tears came right out du ma soeur.  Et we all huggezed et huggezed.  Vous see her bebe es leaving por le camp de les bootes on Sunday es we es tres upsettez.
Joinez us ce next week. Et if vous have le time, requestez le ship d'amie avec Clementine, s'il vous plait. She es running low on le book de la face. Merci.

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