Caution! Illegal business beyond ce pointe. Vous will be guilty by associationne if vous continue to read.
Chez Le Mere – Le Condo
Ma mere, Ma soeur, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam,
Les crackers du les Triscuits et le dip du la Francais Onion
Official BS Business:
Mon amie Giselle has ruined le official business. Vous see, la plan was to play une tres funny trick on her, mais, I received une text from Giselle, just as I walked en le door to le condo that said, "Je suis tres sorry. I will not be able to make it to BS Club ce soir."
C'est domage! C'est tragique! Mais, on le side that es bright, Giselle does not bother to read Le Club de BS Minutes. Do vous know what that means? That means that I can share le joke avec vous et I do not have to worry that it will be spoiled.
BS Topics et conversations:
I started le conversation. "Oh, mon Dieu! That es hilarious! Ha-ha-ha- ha-ha-ha. Oh wait, I might have to pee ma pantes. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." I was admiring le new piece de la center on ma mere's tableau. It was Giselle's tres famous, une et only plante de les sticks. Giselle always tells Le Club de BS Membres, "Ce next week I will bring une photographe de ma plante de les sticks." Et sometimes she says, "Ce next week I will bring all of vous une cutting de ma plante de les sticks." Et we always say, "So, votre plante de les sticks has non leaves?" Et she says, "Non, ma plante de les sticks has non leaves. It looks like it belongs in une drawing de les stick peoples." Et we say, "Et votre plante has non fleurs?" Et she says, "Non, non fleurs, just les sticks." Et we say, "So votre plante es just une bunche de les sticks?" Et Giselle says, "Oui, that es what I have been telling vous. Ce next week I will bring une photographe." Et I say, "If ma mere ever got a hold de votre plante de les sticks, it would grow les leaves et les fleurs. She has une thumb that es green, vous know." Et Giselle says, "Non, ma plante de les sticks will not grow les leaves et les fleurs non matter what Genvieve would do. Ma plante de les sticks would only grow more sticks."
Unbeknownst to Giselle, her plante de les sticks was plante-napped from her mason while she was out de la town. I delivered le hostage to chez Louisa early en le matin et set it on le island en le kitchen. It scared le ever living lights du la jour out de ma frère-en-law when he went to pour his coffee, mais, mon nephew C.J. never even noticed it. Ma soeur then drove it to le condo après she was done avec work. Then ma mere et ma soeur decorated la plante avec les fleurs. They put la petite pot inside another grand pot, so as to disguise it. By le way, did vous know that there es tape that es green that is made just por les plantes? Oui. I asked ma mere if all du her leaves et fleurs are taped onto her plantes. She said, "Non." It has now been six jours since le plante was nabbed. Le hostage es cooperating et es being treated well. Giselle has not noticed les missing sticks. Her fil said to moi, "Do not worry. Ma mere will not know that ce plante es gone. If it were not por ma pere or moi watering it every now et again, it would be morte." I said, "Mais, votre mere adores that plante." Et Giselle's fil looked at moi like I had deux tetes. I looked up la plante de les sticks on le internet et guess what? It es called, la plante de les sticks. Mais, les pictures on le internet had beaucoup more de les sticks. Wikipedia said that les plantes de les sticks are poisonous. "Non," shouted les Membres de BS. "Oui, they bleedes les bloodes that are blanc et creamy. Ce cream can cause irritations to le skin et blindness to les eyes that es temporary. "Vous know Giselle has non idea about this," said ma soeur. Et howling commenced again at le condo. Maxwelle Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam
looked at each other et shook les tetes en amazement that Giselle did not know it es poisonous.
Next we discussed ma tres bon news. "Mon petit enfant graduated from l'ecole du high. Yay!" Et that led to ma story en regard to buying les cards por les upcoming graduations. "I have had beaucoup de les problems picking up les cards. Le first trip, I purchased trois cards while I was shopping por les groceries. I set them en le top de ma carte. While I was shopping I heard une noise et I noticed that they had slipped to la bottom de ma carte, mais, I did not worry. Then when I was at le counter de la check out, I was trying to get mes grapes out de la holes en le carte. They were stuck en there. They kept breaking off de la bunche et they were bouncing et rolling around on le floor under ma carte. As I was fighting avec mes grapes, I noticed that there was only une card de le graduation. The other deux must have slipped out de les slots et peoples were probably driving their wheels de les cartes over mes cards! It was okay, I decided. I only needed une card por le weekend et I just wanted to free mes grapes before ce mademoiselle was finished checking moi out. A few jours later, I bought deux more cards por les graduations at ce same store. I was going to prepare les roll ups du les pickles to take to ma office por une shower de la enfante. Mais, I did not have time to make les pickles, so I stuck ce bag de les groceries en ma refrigerator. That is where mes cards still are, en ma refrigerator. I keep forgetting to put les cards en le box de la office du post." "Ha," said ma mere. "Le Cold Case de les Cards. That could be une neuvaux show on le television. " Et then ma mere soeur told une story. "I saw it on une show de la talking. They were discussing le use de le saying, non problem. Le monsieur on le show said, "If I am at une restaurante et I ask la waitress por une glasse de la water et la waitress says, non problem, that makes moi crazy! That is not le time to say, no problem. Vous should say non problem apres vous do votre neighbor une favor. Vous get up et milk his cows early en le matin parce que he es ill et le next jour he says, merci beaucoup, mon neighbor. That is when vous say, non problem."
And then it was time por le Shake du Jour
Bartender du jour: Ma Mere
Numbre du jour: 3
Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed.
1st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………une. "Non, problem."
2nd Shaker: Moi…………resulte…….deux. "Non, problem."
3rd Shaker: Ma soeur………..resulte……..trois. "Non, problem."
4th Shaker: Giselle..........resulte……….trois. Giselle was not there, mais le Club de BS took une turn por her since most de la discussion involved her.
[one_half_last]Pictured on le left es la hostage et ma soeur enside le automobile de la get away. Le plante de les sticks will preside at chez Louisa until ce next Club de BS Meeting. I promise, la plante-nappee es being treated tres bon by la plante-nappere.[/one_half_last]
Vous don't want to miss le reaction du Giselle at ce next meeting. Do vous pense that Giselle will know that it es her plante de les sticks at le condo? Place votre votes, OUI or NON, en le section de les commentes. Merci et aurevoir mes amies.