BS Club Minutes March 26, 2014
I gotta clean. I gotta pack. I gotta pack. I gotta clean. Time is short and short is time. Non time por to translate les minutes ento Francais. Porquoi vous ask? Porquoi non time por to translate? Parce que it is time for a Millie and Sven road trip to sunny, sunny Florida, where white sands and blue waters are waiting. Where Millie and Sven will have have sex on the beach every day. Okay, so I'm a figment with an imagination. Regardless, I'm outta time. BS Club Minutes March 26, 2014, in a nut shell. What went on at that last meeting? Well..................we, as in the present members had assorted hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. We called the Guiness book of Records and Maxwelle Smarte is officially under review by the Guiness Board at this moment for, the most trips up and down stairs by a cat, while carrying a cube in one's teeth and then sitting inside it and posing for pictures and just basically showing off.'
Miscellaneous Topics and QuotesA woman who was abandoned in the jungle and raised by monkeys at five years of age "The monkeys showed her how to survive." "That is bull shit." "Monkeys can't do cartwheels." "Have you been to the circus lately?" People who think they are dogs "Well, could he lick his balls?" "I was growled at by a patient." "The guy had a tree bark leg." "A what?" Smelly people "They told me not to touch his coat." Short hand "I was really good at short hand. I loved it." "I was really good at short hand. I hated it." "I could never transcribe my own notes." "Me neither." "I never took it." "Me neither." Selling Claudette's house "We had five showings last weekend. One couple wanted an ariel - platte." "What in the hell is an ariel-platte?" "How do you spell that?" Kids in bars "I was a pudgy little shit and then I lost a whole bunch of weight when my parents quit taking me to the bars." "Huh?" "Well, all I did was sit there and eat junk food." "Hahahahahahaha." "Seriously, people wanted to know my weight loss secret when I was in middle school and I would tell them that I just quit going to bars." Easter Seals "Hey, the phone is ringing." "Where is Genvieve?" "She's in the bathroom." "So, who called while I was in the bathroom?" "Easter Seals. We donated $200 for you." "Hahahahahahahahaha." Car problems "Oh, it is so loud inside my daughter's car that my grandson and I were driving along and singing....We're in the ghetto, we're in the ghetto." "I backed into a snow bank last month and knocked off my tail pipe." Grocery Shopping "You see, my stroller wheel got caught up on a table cloth in the aisle and that caused the dishes on the display to go crashing to the floor." "I witnessed a pyramid of full champagne bottles be bumped by a woman's grocery cart. It sounded like the place was under siege. People were taking cover." Work "I know her. She works in my building." "Um, don't work from home?" "Yes, I've seen her in my kitchen." "Hahahahahahahaha."
Could I have some Jager please?!People, Places and Things "That's the only place I go." "Wait, I go a lot of places."
And then it was time for the Shake of the Day
AND NOBODY WON!
See you in a couple of weeks. Be sure to come back. Don't be a stranger. Y'all come back now. Seriously stop back in. It's just a short two week sex hiatus.
You will not want to miss the story of Millie and Sven and their road trip to sunny, sunny Florida, where white sands and blue waters await their arrival. Where Millie and Sven will have sex on the beach every day.
(Too much false information?)