BS Club Minutes January 23, 2013

  Voulez Vous club de BS Warning:  Keep out unless you like silly shit written in a silly way due to the onset de cocktails. Date: Wednesday: January 23, 2013 Temps: 19 degrees et snowing out le window Meeting Place: Le Condo Roll Call Ma mere?  “Ici.” Ma Soeur? “Ici.” Mon Amie, Gisielle? “Ici.” Mon Amie, Claudette?  Claudette?  Non Claudette. Could she still be in that pool? Le Chat: Maxwell Smarte? “Meow.”   Le Chat Morrie Amsterdam? Morrie Amsterdam? Ou et Morrie Amsterdam?  “He is downstairs.”  Moi?  “Ici.” Refreshmentes: Les Tostito Chips avec salsa et les Triscuits avec le spread du Fromage Official Business:  Ma Mere has decided on une sample de le carpet por her living room.  Le selected sample was reviewed by all de les presente BS Club members et all de les presente members were in favor avec la decision.  Une official vote was taken et all de les presente BS Club members voted, oui. BS Topics:  Giselle started, “I am wearing une bra for le first time since last week.”  We were all tres happy about that news. She said, “I am shaky et I am talking fast parfait le Prednisonne makes moi this way.”  Then she said that she had trouble making her mouse click on une tiny box on le computer parfait she couldn’t hold her hand still, so she had to use both hands, one on le mouse et one on her hand that was on le mouse, et she finally clicked on le tiny box but it made her tres tired so then she had to take une nap.  Ma soeur said, “Giselle you look nice du jour.”  Then Giselle said, "merci" and she went on to say that she was wearing make up for le first time since last week too, mais she skipped le mascara for fear that she would poke her eye out avec her shaky hand or at le very least le mascara would have been all over her face et then she would have had to wash it off.  If she would have had to wash it off then she would have had to reapply le foundation et le blushe et that would have caused another nap et then she would have had to miss le Club de BS. She brought une bottle du water to drink et asked por une shot du bierre so that she could remember how it tastes.  Ma soeur said that she saw une show on le televisione that said that there was une scientific study done that proved that there is une reason that les messieurs are le big babies when they get sick et les madames are not.  It has something to do with les X et les Y chromosomes. Por les messieurs le X chromosome kicks in when they get ill et it actually makes them think that they are dying et that is why they are le big whiny babies.  Giselle said that she could beat le lady who works in mon office who coughs with a vengeance et it sounds like she has les hair balls stuck in her throat et she ends each cough avec une peculiar puking sound.  Giselle said, "I can do le 'lung rumble'."  Then she demonstrated her talente et we were all tres impressed.  We believe that she could do le sound effects por les western films avec le tumble weeds blowing by or possibly if they needed une storm coming from le distance.  Giselle said that if she could put on le proper make up including le mascara that she would go to Hollywood et try it, mais, she didn’t think she had le proper ambition.  Matter of fact she said she didn’t have any ambition. C’est domage, such a waste de le fine talente.  Maxwelle Smarte brought up his cube avec le mouse et pranced around until we gave him une standing ovation. We pondered por a few moments to wonder if they still make les dickeys or if anyone still ever wears one.  We told Giselle le story about les unexpected companies that ma taunte Susie le Q recieved one day.  Le man had no teeth et le wife de le man called him Sir.  Susie le Q was quite pissed off parfait they had plans to come down to le cottage por le weekend.  They came anyway et brought their strange companies with them. They were all going to spend le night at le cottage until le toothless man said that he forgot to bring his heart medicine, that he'd left it at their house which was one hundred miles away.  Mon uncle then asked le 'sir' how long he could go without his heart medicine.  HA! We all agreed that we liked Sesame Street, especially le Count who was always trying to buy les numbres et I especially liked le guy avec les pies who fell down les steps every time et all de les pies landed on top of him.  We said that we were mad that we did not have Sesame Street on le television  as children.  We had to watch Jack Lalane do exercises.  Ma mere et Giselle said that Jack Lalane’s wife is named Elaine Lalane, which can only lead to one thing et that would be saying le name, Bob Loblaw, from le show 'Arrested Development' over et over et over, which caused us to laugh tres hysterically which made Giselle become tres fatigued et she decided it was time to go home por another nap.  She said aurevoir et then merci beaucoup to ma soeur por le home made soup de le chicken that ma soeur brought por all of us.   Giselle said she was too tired to play le shake du jour et she must have been too tired or perhaps too forgetful to wish us luck to win that very large pot de gold.

Speaking de le shake du jour....

Pot de Gold

Bartender du jour:  Ma Soeur Numbre du jour:  5 Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot de gold, three shakes et farming is allowed. 1st Shaker: Ma Soeur.............resultes...........four fives.  Tres bon! Une free drink por ma soeur! 2nd Shaker: Ma Mere........resultes...........three fives.  C'est domage, no prize por ma mere. 3rd Shaker: Moi..........resultes...........two fives.  Fuck.  Excusee moi et pardonne my French.
Tune in next Wednesday to see if Giselle is back in mascara and off to Hollywood to audition her rumbling lungs. Keep your fingers crossed that she feels good enough to wear her bra.

4 responses to “BS Club Minutes January 23, 2013

  1. Pardon that language se vous plais OHHH mon DEARRRR. Well ya caught all the highlights again Blat. It’s sooo good to be reminded of what the hell comes outa our mouths at BS!! LLove the drawings. See you tomorrow for some more hot topics!

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