Cousin Love


Tuna is pictured on the left. Lucy is on the right. Yours truly is seated in the middle. And Grandma Meow Moses is on the other side of the closed door behind me.

What a fun time we had.
"Lucy, since you were the guest of honor in our home, perhaps you would like to tell everybody about your sleep over at Great Grandma and Grandpa's house."

"Tell Tuna to stop looking at me."

"Tuna, stop looking at Lucy."
It appears that I will have to tell the story.
Last Friday, my sweet Sven and I picked up our darling little great grand dog after being defeated in our match at the Curling Club.
There was a time when we got beat up there regularly on Friday evenings. But that was centuries ago. Back when our cars pulled out of our driveways after dark and drove through snow storms and six foot drifts, because it was a Friday night.
Last year Rock rounded up those of us from the old gang who she could find still breathing and willing, and she formed a league of our own. I call it the-spiked-coffee-dinosaur-lunch-league. It consists of four teams of four.
She said it was easy to reserve the ice on Fridays at ten-thirty am.
There was a bit of grumbling about how much the frozen and pebbled water was going to cost us. But you know how geezers are when they get to a certain age. Everything is over priced and bitching comes naturally.
"What Lucy?"
Oh. Now she wants the floor.

My parents wanted to go to a Buck's game. I hate basketball. All they do is run back and forth. And the buzzers are enough to make a girl poop.
So I made a face.
That is how I got to spend the night with my cousins at my grandma and grandpa's house.
It was about two in the afternoon when I walked in their door. I was starved and I inhaled the food that my grandma had sitting on a dish for me in the kitchen.
Tuna popped in out of nowhere. He looked at the plate. He looked at me. He was puffed out like a blow up doll and his tail was big enough to be a whole other cat. He just stood there staring at me with his googly eyes.
My Grandma Millie said, "Tuna, knock it off. Lucy did you a favor. You don't even like your food."
But Tuna just kept on looking at me.
Grandma set out the special lunch that Mom packed and a bowl of water too. She placed my bed in the living room next to the couch along with some of my toys. And then she said, "Lucy, do you want to go for a walk?"
I love walks.
Tuna shot out the door in front of us, even though he was not invited. He was zig zagging in the snow, climbing trees, jumping out of them and tripping us up.
Grandma said, "He is showing off because he loves you."
After the walk Tuna had a couple treats.
Then I did.
Then he did.
Then I did.
Then he did.
Then we both did.
And then he went back outside.
That is when my grandma went downstairs and brought up my old roommate, Grandma Meow Moses. She has an assisted living apartment down there with a heated bed and her own laundry room and everything.
I don't think her eyesight is the best anymore because she barely acknowledged me. She just drank her milk on the step and went up to the loft to lay on a windowsill.
Grandma Millie told me not to worry.
"That is how Grandma Meow Moses shows her love," she said.
All of a sudden Grandpa Sven hollered, "Hey, Tuna is hanging from the screen."
Grandma Millie carried Grandma Meow Moses across the loft into their bedroom and she closed the door.
Then Grandpa let Tuna in the house and Tuna bolted up the stairs.
That is when Grandma said, "Sven come and take a picture of us since we are all together."
"Tuna and Grandma Meow still don't get along?" I asked my grandma, since Grandma Meow's face on the picture was behind a door.
"Oh, they love each other. They just have a couple little kinks to work out," she said.
I didn't say anything, but I saw them on Judge Judy a few weeks ago. Attempted murder is more than a couple little kinks.
Tuna went to the bed in the guest room and took a nap.
Grandma shut that door and opened the one Grandma Meow was behind and she waddled out without even so much as a hello.
I helped Grandpa make a fire in the woodstove and then the two of us watched some golf while Grandma messed around in the kitchen.
It was a lot of fun.
I really like my Grandpa. He stays in one spot for a long time. And he is a great protector.
A few hours later Tuna woke up from his nap.
Grandma Meow Moses went back to her assisted living apartment without saying good-bye and Tuna wandered out of the guest room stretching and yawning.
And staring at me.
I sat next to Grandpa.
But Grandpa goes to bed early.
So then I curled up by Grandma.
She didn't like anything on the tv.
She started yawning.
Pretty soon I watched her carry my bed up the stairs and set it on the floor next to their bed.
"Come on Lou Lou. It is bedtime," she says.
I thought we were going to stay up late, pop popcorn, watch R-rated movies and rollerblade around the house, the way my mom, and my aunts and my uncles said they did when they used to stay overnight there when they were kids.
It was nine o'clock.
Grandma and Grandpa were in bed watching the news.
I couldn't take it.
That is why I wandered out to the loft where I ran into my cousin.
And that is why I have a restraining order against Mr. googly eyes.

Oh my.
Would you look at the time.
I wish we could hear more Lucy. But your bags are packed and your mom and dad are waiting.
I am glad you had a nice time.


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