Dear Millie

Dear Millie,
I am not feeling it this year.
I am not in the mood for the holidays.
I have lost my sparkle.
What should I do?

Dollie in Despair, Michigan

Dear Dollie,
I suggest putting up your Christmas tree.
It will help you get out of your funk.
The cursing involved is invigorating.
My Sweet Sven and I put ours up the other day and once again we are both by the grace of God still here.
Now that it is standing tall in our living room I only feel hopeless and filled with anxiety in the middle of the night when I wake up to pee.
You see, when the Christmas lights shine on that icicle man hanging from the branch, he sparkles with delight and it makes it hard not to smile because your muscles have memories too.
And while you are hanging your other ornaments with that little grin of yours going on, you will start to remember all the Christmases upon Christmases that you have seen come and go.
Like when you hung him there for the first time when you were young and full of hopes and dreams and teenagers eating you out of house and home.
They will claim that there was never anything to eat in your cupboards.
But that is only because they already ate it all.
It's a lot like having fresh lemons on hand.
All the rage these days is about squeezing that juice on everything you eat.
Just to be clear, you do not need fresh lemons.
That is bullshit.
I buy lemons all the time.
But, I don't usually remember that they are in the crisper drawer until they are no longer crisp and the peels have those little brown spots.
So what.
You cannot let that kind of stuff get you down.
Those lemons are still zesty on the inside.
They are just as good to eat as your bread is if you cut off the moldy parts.
Every year is different.
Some are better.
Some are worse.
We all lose our pizzazz.
It is not just you.
And the longer we live the better chance we have to lose, more.
Just because this might be the worst year of your life, you might want to get out your cheese and cut off the green parts to eat alongside your glass of wine that is only as half full or as half empty as you want to fill it.
What I am trying to say is, your sparkle is something that you have to look for.
Don't wait for it to find you.
Go out and get it.



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