Does This Mask Make My Mouth Look Big?


Remember when Guess were jeans?
Corona was beer?
And when the Who was a band?
I know.
How about when P.O. stood for post office and P.T. meant the Barnum and Bailey Circus was coming?
That was a long time ago.
I wonder if everybody knew everything about everything back then, the way everybody knows everything about everything now.
I mean there are more experts on curves, charts, percentages and statistics now then there are people.
I suck at math.

So, you give me one chart.
Or you give me ten charts.
Same result.
I got no clue.
I am going to need an expert to translate the information.
And now, everyone is an expert.
And nobody agrees on anything.
Masks are going to be in fashion for awhile.
I was just thinking that since I barely know the difference between a hypotenuse and a hydroplane, I am going to focus on something that I do understand, and leave the science of it all to those who have dedicated their lives to the very research, in case we ever have a pandemic.
But I can't really hear them over all the noise.
I say, go bold this summer.
The brighter the better.
You are gonna want your mask to really pop.
Do not worry about horizontal stripes.
Horizontal stripes are in.
Keep them away from your ass of course.
But, if you are one of those sweet gals who have been accused of having one of those resting bitch faces, those magenta, pink and orange lines are going to be very becoming on you.
Vertical stripes should be worn with extreme caution.
Unless you want to look sinister.
I know it is going to be tempting, especially if you are sewing your own and you get a really good deal on some stretchy teal velour fabric this fall. But do not. I repeat. Do not demaskulate your man.
No matching couples.
It's not like you got to let everybody know that he belongs to you anyway, unless you think he is gonna get snagged right out from under you in the produce section.
When the snow flies it will be time to tame your colors down.
And time to thicken your masks up.
This is when you will want to go with the double paneled knit type. And you will want to insert a couple toe heaters inside for those below zero mornings.
Pandemic or not, everyone should have one of these.
I am surprised we don't already.
The key to staying in fashion during these trying times.
And to just plain looking cool.
Is to have a variety of masks.
A ton of them.
A boat load.
You are going to need a mask drawer in your dresser.
So, when you take all your jeans to Saint Vinny's, you can always use that one.
Face masks are going to multiply.
Just like shoes, purses and sunglasses do.
And I don't need a chart to show you the curve.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Send Millie a Message!

Inspired by the blog, a story, or an artwork? Don't hesitate to contact Millie to discuss a writing or creative work or just to have an enthusiastic conversation about the world!

Get in touch

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.