Grandma Jan’s Couch

At first I thought it was the trailer causing all the commotion.
Last fall my sweet Sven could not pass one up on the side of the road.
"You never know when you are going to need a trailer," he said.
The winter came and went.
Once all the snow melted there was that trailer.
A few days ago my cell phone rang.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hi, it's Jason."
Jason is my ex-husband.
"Can I borrow Sven's trailer on Sunday?"
"Sven! Can Jason borrow your trailer on Sunday?"
Sven said yes.
Jason said thanks.

Two days later my cell phone rang.
"It's Jason. Can I pick up the trailer on Friday and drop it off on Sunday?
A little later Sven says, "I thought Rupert needed the trailer on Saturday to move that couch."
Rupert is my nephew.
"This Saturday?" I said.
And then my cell phone rang.
"Hi, it is Pierre."
Pierre is my brother-in-law."
"I was wondering if I could use Sven's trailer on Saturday to haul my lawnmower over to Arlington after Rupert moves the couch."
Now about this couch.
This couch belonged to Grandma Jan.
Grandma Jan was my mother.
She passed two years ago and her belongings were divided among family, and this couch, the one she always sat on with her boys Maxwelle Smarte and Morrie Amsterdam begging for treats, went to my granddaughter.
Oceanne had called me a couple weeks before all the trailer phone calls began.
"Hi Gramms. Does anybody need Grandma Jan's couch?"
Oceanne is very sentimental.
She gets that from my daughter-in-law.
"I will check around," I said. "But don't worry if we don't find it a home. Grandma would probably have gotten a new one by now."
I felt strange after making that statement.
And then I recalled the great dining room set debacle.
My sister mentioned that she loved my parents dining room set when she was about sixteen.
"You can have it when you get married," replied my mom.
Some years later my sister showed up with a ring on her finger and it was perfect timing because my mom had her eye a new dining room set.
My sister ended up giving the ring back to the guy and breaking his heart.
And my mom was like, "Are you still taking the table and chairs?"
Louisa was haunted by that dining room set for years to come.
"Does Oceanne need to be out of her apartment this weekend or is it just convenient that I pick the couch up this weekend?" was the text that came from Rupert.
I was sending and receiving messages faster than a game of racquet ball.
That is when I realized that the jam I was in was not a trailer jam.
Not at all.
It was Grandma Jan's couch that was turning my life into a Seinfeld episode.
She was getting involved.
Grandma Jan was not about to let anybody just take her couch to the curb and leave it there.
"What if it were to rain?"
After Sven and I took turns holding Rupert hostage on the phone like Jerry's parents, we came to the conclusion that if Jason didn't have the trailer back in time on Sunday morning, Rupert could squeeze Grandma Jan's couch into Sven's truck, even with the topper.
Friday afternoon was disappearing with the sun.
I called Jason.
"Are you still picking up the trailer today?"
"Oh. I decided to rent a U-Haul instead. It's supposed to rain all weekend."
Sven calls Pierre.
"You can use the trailer on Saturday to haul your lawnmower. And Rupert wants to use it on Sunday to move the couch. Jason doesn't need it."
"Okay. Thanks."
On Saturday morning I was out walking Hunter and Tuna, my dog and my cat. We were on the path in the middle of the woods and my first cup of coffee was still pretty hot, when my phone rang.
"Hi. It's Jason. I guess I do need your trailer after all. The U-Haul fell through. The lights don't work."
"Can't they give you a different one?
"It's my car that isn't set up."
"Oh. Well you need lights on a trailer too."
"No I don't. Who cares?"
Then I explained that Sven's trailer was booked all weekend.
And then Jason decided he could borrow it on a week day.
Pierre took his lawnmower in for repairs on Saturday morning.
On Sunday Rupert and his brother Christian came by just after lunch.
"Dad told us not to take your trailer. He said he had to put air in the tire just to get to Arlington."
Their dad would be Pierre.
"Rupert, where are you taking Grandma Jan's couch?"
And then Rupert explained that a friend of his first roommate had gotten engaged. And after a couple years of living in sin, they split up and she took all the furniture.
"Right now he only has one chair in his apartment," said Rupert.
After a pit stop here in Rupert's living room, Grandma Jan's couch will be transferred to her new home.


Rupert's friend will have a place to sit.
And we can all sleep.
Thanks for stopping in Mom.
Been missing you.

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