My Sister’s Cat
"Welcome to Cat Talk with phamous pheline psychologist, Millie M.D. Noe and today's featured guest, Finley, the cat who tells it like it is." "Um, Millie, my name is Morrie." Hold on a minute, my sister, I mean, my executive producer is giving me information in my ear piece. "Oh, I see. Thank you, Louisa." Well, this could have been embarrassing. Finley was not able to make his appointment today. But, fortunately my staff was able to find a fill in at a moment's notice. "Welcome to Cat Talk with phamous pheline psychologist Millie M.D. Noe and today's featured guest, Morrison." "Blatner, you can just call me Morrie." "Okay Morrie. And I would prefer if you would call me Doctor Noe." "Fine." "So, Morrie what brings you in?" "This is my house." "Right. Can you tell me why your mother has asked me to come here today?" "Well, you are here all the time, so it's hard for me to guess what today's reason could be." "Your mother wanted me to have a little chat with you, since I am working on getting my pheline psychology degree. Do you know why she asked me to talk to you?" "Is it because I never stop begging for treats?" "No." "Is it because I really, really like cat nip a lot? She isn't thinking of throwing me into rehab is she?" "No, if you went, we'd all have to go. However did you know that if you laid off rolling around in the herb you would also cut down on the extra calories?" "It's because you ran out of cats to interrogate, isn't it?" "No." "Then, I have no idea why you are here, Doctor Noe." "Well Morrie, it is a delicate subject. A hard topic to discuss. But sometimes we must dig deep to get to our underlying issues." "What underlying issues?" "Think hard, Morrison. Is there anything that gets you down? Your mother says you sleep an awful lot." "That is because I am a cat." "You used to have a brother. Do you remember him?" "Yeah, sure." "Perhaps the absence of sweet Max has you depressed." "No." "You don't miss him?" "No." "Not even the tiniest?" "No. Not even the tiniest." "Then why do you sleep all morning down there on top of your tree in the window?" "Because it is the top of my tree in the window." "Fair enough. What about when your mother comes home from work?" "What about it?" "She says that once she sits down on this couch and you've had your pot session and your fill of treats, you climb on her lap and you stretch out all the way down her legs where you would stay forever if it wasn't for her bladder." "Right." "Morrie your mother is trapped under you for hours and hours at a time." "She's fine. We have the fireplace going and she watches her shows. I just keep her company." "Well..." "Maybe you should be having this little chat with my mom. She's the one with the underlying bladder issue. I got no problems." "Well, I.." "Maybe you should hang up this career, Blatner. You aren't going to find a cat with a problem. We don't have problems." "Well folks, it looks like we are all out of time. Once again, Millie M.D. Noe has a satisfied customer. You heard it right here on this show, Morrie no longer has an issue." "That's not what I.." "Be sure to tune in next week when Finley, the cat who tells it like it is, tells it like it is." "But, I wasn't fini..." "Louisa!"