Olivia Newton Reese
They say the BS Club pot has grown larger than the power ball.
Nobody has won in a very long time.
It has been so long in fact that the senior women cannot recall who the last winner was and when that may have been.
"The dice are cursed," they said.
They tried new dice.
"We need to pick a number like six and stick with it," someone said.
"I like five."
Others had other favorite numbers.
"We should all go out for breakfast with it."
"Over my dead body," said Shirlee-Bunny.
The location of this immense pot is now under twenty-four hour armed guard security and the IRS is camped in the front yard.
This is causing a lot of stress for some.
But not for Olivia Newton Reese.
Olivia cohosts BS Club Wednesdays at her house all winter long alongside her mother, Shirlee-Bunny.
Once the word got out about the out of control shake of the day pot of gold, a Daily Valley News reporter showed up at the scene.
That is where he found Olivia.
She was sitting at the head of the kitchen table wearing a diamond and ruby studded collar, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, preparing to blow on the dice in exchange for a piece of sausage.
After yet another failed attempt by the club members to take home half the pot, Olivia went outside to take care of business.
That is where the reporter caught up with her, next to the bush off the right side of the deck.
"Excuse me, Ms. Reese. Rumor has it that there has been some criminal activity in these parts and that your mother is involved."
"Is your mother part of a Gang called The Gang of Eight Plus One?"
"She sure is," answered Olivia.
"Did they spray paint the new bridge?"
"Uh. Not that I know of."
"Are they stealing and pawning large screen TVs?"
"Do they control this neighborhood?"
"This is my turf. Squirrel!"
The reporter walked over to interview the IRS agent who was standing outside his camper having a smoke.
"Excuse me sir. I am with the Daily Valley. Can you tell me what you are doing here?"
"My job is to hand the winner a 1099, if the day ever comes. For the love of God. I have been here a real long time."
"Will they be honest with you?"
"Their screams will be heard around the world. And Facebook will blow up."
Olivia Newton Reese was heading back to the kitchen door when the reporter caught up with her again.
"Any luck with that squirrel?"
"So Olivia, back to this Gang of Eight Plus One. What do they do?"
"They knock off Supper Clubs?"
"If that is what you want to call it. Every time my mom comes home from a Gang of Eight Plus One, Saturday night out, she brings me the doggie bag."
"The doggie bag?"
"Unless she ordered the crab legs."
With that, Olivia Newton Reese scratched at the door to return to BS Club to see if she could get another piece of cheese or sausage before they broke up for the night.