Even as a figment of an imagination I am the first to admit that death terrifies me. I not only fear my own death, I take the death of others horribly. I am however, an eternal optimist by nature, so I have decided to take a moment to write down all of the things I will be thankful for when the angel of darkness comes to carry me away into that big black hole of whatever it is.
- No more annual performance reviews and writing measurable goals for the next year.
- No chance of a public speaking obligation.
- No more starting a car in sub- zero temperatures with nostrils frosted shut.
- No more Sunday nights made of fitful sleep and the freaking alarm buzzing at 5:00 AM.
- No more Public Radio pledge weeks.
- No more coloring my roots.
- No more cleaning up the hairball puke that I heard taking place during a fitful Sunday night of sleep.
- No more wishing I hadn’t said that thing that I wished I hadn’t said.
- No more worrying about dying.
- No more cleaning bathrooms and dealing with pubic hair even if half of it is mine.
- No more feeling that role of fat around my waist with my elbow as I sit here and type.
- No more guilt feelings for not having led a more humanitarian life.
- Never again seeing that commercial with the sad song and all of those dogs that need my money.
- No more printer jams.
- No more mammograms.
- No more static cling due to a simple oversight.
- No more vending machines taking my money and keeping my merchandise.
- No more farm tractors pulling out in front of me that are too wide to see around to make a pass.
- No more shit piled on the island when I come home from work.
- No more missing my dad.
2 responses to “The Brighter Side of Death”
you go girl … death becomes you.
Why thank you for the compliment, Peg. I will add it to my list of happy death stuff. It becomes me.