You know those inspirational sayings about never really losing someone because they are walking right beside you after they are gone?
As wonderful as this sounds for those of us left behind with broken hearts.
It is also depressing.
I never cared much for babysitting.
Not until the the kids were in bed and I could finally pull out the Cola and chips and watch The Tonight Show.
All by myself.
Don't get me wrong.
I was a good babysitter.
I played my fair share of Candy Land and Go Fish.
I spent most of the time just praying for their little bedtimes to roll around.
And the pay sucked to high heaven.
I mean really, fifty cents an hour.
Who wants to work for fifty cents an hour for an eternity?
It takes just about that much time to get your bankroll up to ten dollars.
This must be the hell we hear about.
"What's that Louisa?"
Excuse me. My sister is interrupting.
"Really? Well, I don't care what the going rate is now. I still wouldn't want to babysit forever."
It seems to me that saying farewell to your entire universe qualifies as enough of a hardship for one day.
I hate going to new places alone.
I have no sense of direction.
I don't know about you, but I never know exactly what to do or what to say.
Or where to park.
And what if I am no good at flying?
You should have seen me the first time on skis.
I fell over just because my feet were locked in place.
The last thing I am going to need is a bunch of added stress as soon as I get to the other side.
I might just want to sit back and look at all the colors. Listen to the mystical sounds. Have a glass of that heavenly brew they have on tap.
"No beer for you!"
"You must walk beside those who miss you. Offer your guidance to the ones who are are lost. Go now, my child."
I certainly hope it is a short internship program.
Isn't it a little ironic that one should have to go back and walk next to someone's sorry ass, just because that someone isn't dead yet?
And you are?
You are the one who drew the short straw and croaked.
And now this too?
For God's sake it is only a matter of time before that someone who isn't dead yet will be dead too.
I don't care how much time they have left.
Once they get to the end and turn around time will have been nothing more than a snap of the fingers.
To all of my peeps who are on the other side.
I wish you well.
Enjoy the brew.
And see ya soon.
Unless I am having a particularly bad day.
REALLY, really, missing you.
It wouldn't hurt you to pay a quick visit every once in a while.
Maybe just a flyover.