Nestled in the black hole just outside Harmony Grove are Bark Man, Tuxedo Boy and Cat Lady.
With little to no crime over the winter the Titanic Trio resorted to entertaining themselves by annoying yours truly and my sweet Sven with all of their very specific needs.
Spring is trying to make its debut, but according to my husband, not hard enough.
The ground however is beginning to thaw between snowfalls. Birds are singing in the rain. And thieves and hooligans are back in the area in full force.
Last fall an unlikely guest took an extended holiday under the Stephen King bush located in our front yard.
"Oh my gosh," said Sven.
"There is a baby opossum out there."
"Oh, he is cute," I said.
"No. He is ugly," said Sven.
Cuggly paid no attention to Sven's remark or to Bark Man who was at the kitchen window with his mouth wide open giving him a piece of his mind through the glass.
Instead, he continued to munch on the baked potato that had been wrapped in tinfoil that he had managed to pull out of the hole that he had chewed in the bottom of the garbage bag that I had set on the porch.
I was not upset about the mess because I too am a potato lover.
Hotel Stephen King is a historic bush of diversified units made of juniper branches where all kinds of folks are seen coming and going.
Tuxedo Boy, our youngest crime fighter, patrols the bush and breaks up underage parties and such. There have been rumors that he has also stolen babies from under there, which is just one more reason that points toward more funding and more training for our caped crusaders.
Power in the wrong hands without proper education and in this case, empathy, is scary.
Bark Man is not able to fit under the bush but has sent many a message directly into it. Anything hollered into a megaphone into your home is very rarely well received and probably sounds like WHA WHA WHA!
Cat Lady wishes to get in on the action but by no fault of her own other than living forever, she is not allowed to work on the bush case, as she is not allowed outside with the hearing-impaired disability clause noted in her contract.
She does however scowl from her spot on the stairs.
"What's that Louisa?"
Hang on, my sister is interrupting.
She said that Cat Lady's face is a scowl.
"Louisa, that was rude."
Cuggly must have felt the spring vibes and that caused him to pop out of hibernation.
"Look how big he is!" I remarked.
"He's even uglier than last year," said Sven.
I still think Cuggly is rather adorable, but I will admit that that opossum has been causing a bit of a commotion that I can live without.
One evening Tuxedo Boy and Bark Man both had their heads inside the hole in the corner of the lattice under our porch, created by a predecessor, the late great Leonard, the only dog who could make Bark Man appear to be well behaved.
Apparently Cuggly was trying to get some shut eye under the porch in what had seemed to be a great spot.
Tuxedo Boy went in to kick Cuggly out all the while Bark Man's head was still inside the hole, and he was still barking.
"Uh-oh," I said.
Cat Lady sat on her step looking smug, as she was certain that Tuxedo Boy was about to get slapped around.
An hour later Cuggly was seen waddling past the window and Tuna was patrolling the bush like nothing ever happened.
And no one is talking.
Another night Sven and I could be seen pulling and tugging and cussing and swearing at Bark Man as we tried to pick his rather large rear end up and off the muddy ground with his trusty sling for standing and then we had to drag him every inch of the way back and up the stairs and into the house.
How did we know to look for him? We followed all the barking which occurred during what was supposed to have been our three minutes of peace and quiet while Bark Man was supposed to be enjoying the biscuit we had thrown out the door and then doing his business while he was at it. But instead we found him nose to nose with Cuggly who he had discovered on the rock ledge.
Bark Man is not allowed to go near the pond after dark. Never would be preferrable but according to him, non-negotiable.
Our last Cuggly sighting was more than a week ago now.
I noticed him heading toward the wood pile one morning without suitcases in hand, but he may have packed his bags and had them stashed someplace. He seems to have vanished. According to the concierge, without checking out or paying his bill.
It is quite possible that The Titanic Trio has prevailed once again.
For more stories in this crime fighting series, click above on Titanic Trio.