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  • The Catnip Story

    Finally the long awaited catnip story makes its way to the internet. Have a chill day.
    The Catnip Story
    Thoughts for Fall
    The Other Cheers
    November 3, 2021
    The Other Cheers
    I do not remember my first visit to the dentist, which means I was either too...
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    May 21, 2020
    Grandma Meow Meow Moves In
    When I broke the news to Hunter, he picked his head up off the rug and...
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    May 15, 2020
    The Impossible Movie Critic
    “This one is a comedy drama,” said my sweet Sven. “What year is it?” I said....
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    May 6, 2020
    Too Old To Be Young
    My sweet Sven was standing in front of me. He had a funny look on his...
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    April 29, 2020
    Four Legged Walkers
    Walking is good for you. Hunter, our little puppy dog who is ancient, Tunester, the cat...
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    April 19, 2020
    Does This Mask Make My Mouth Look Big?
    Remember when Guess were jeans? Corona was beer? And when the Who was a band? I...
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    April 16, 2020
    The Hunter and Tuna Connection
    Hunter’s side of the story. I do not hate Tuna. It’s just that I am a...
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    April 13, 2020
    Conception
    By guest author Vol Lindsey 4/10/20 The pastures burn a brilliant green and stretch themselves out...
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    April 9, 2020
    A Farewell to Maxwelle Smarte
    Tall, dark and handsome, Maxwelle Smarte and his equally pretty, fair skinned brother, Morrie Amsterdam, moved...
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    April 2, 2020
    Sven Goes to Hollywood
    “I think I would be really good at that,” said my sweet Sven. “Really good at...
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    March 28, 2020
    BS Club Goes All Techy
    “Get the App,” she said. And so we did. Because Angelique is brilliant. We in Wisconsin,...
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    March 24, 2020
    King of Jungle Moves to Guest Room
    It is hard to know what is true and what is not true. That is why,...
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    March 21, 2020
    Sven
    Back in the seventies my sweet Sven was in Rome. He paid a visit to the...
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    March 18, 2020
    The Accidental Hoarder
    About a million years ago when my Sweet Sven and I were first married, I had...
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    Animals are People too
    A Dog a Cat a Coyote and Me
    March 9, 2020
    A Dog a Cat a Coyote and Me
    The coyote day.
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    March 1, 2020
    The Tradescantia Pallida
    Why was Shirlee-bunny on stage shaking a tambourine and singing, “You are some kind of wonderful?”...
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    February 21, 2020
    Camel Straights
    My sweet Sven hurt his back. He is down for the count. A bench warmer for...
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    February 18, 2020
    Don’t Fence Me In
    By guest author Vol Lindsey 02/17/2020 On the edge of town, here on my stretch of...
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    February 17, 2020
    One Legged Nurse
    My Sweet Sven, and his side kicks, Hunter, AKA, Rin Tin Tin and Tuna, the only...
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    February 5, 2020
    Minderella
    My sweet Sven and I have been invited to a ball. “What’s that Louisa?” Oh. My...
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    January 29, 2020
    The Fun Committee
    Even if you travel all the way to the 0 mile marker. You will not escape...
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    January 5, 2020
    Two More Poems by Vol Lindsey
    HELLO GOD It is the eighteenth of June and it is hot as soup. I’m smoking...
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    January 4, 2020
    The House Guest
    Meet Tuna. Tuna is not on Facebook. But if Tuna were on Facebook his profile would...
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    December 31, 2019
    Stick it Sven
     
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    December 18, 2019
    Give a Dog a Bone
    Hunter has never enjoyed the act of giving. But he is an expert on the act...
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    Dear Millie
    Dear Millie
    December 7, 2019
    Dear Millie
    Millie can help you through the holidays.
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    December 6, 2019
    Sparkle
    By Guest Author Vol Lindsey 12/5/19 SPARKLE Behind those piled stones, in the corner of my...
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    December 4, 2019
    Slacker
    By Guest Author Vol Lindsey 11/29/2019 SLACKER I’m an old man now, so everything is a...
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    November 19, 2019
    Wine Walking Women
    For a one time fee of just thirty-five dollars, Wine Walking Women, an elite group of...
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    November 14, 2019
    AMHÁIN AMHÁIN DON BHÓTHAR
    By guest author Vol Lindsey 11/13/2019 My philosophy professor said, “The air in ancient Greece was...
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    November 6, 2019
    Pockets of Fun
    It was spring. My sister Louisa and I were at the lake drinking beer and burning...
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    October 26, 2019
    That One Guy Is Back
    Many of you out there say ixnay to the rakay. Not me. And not Hunter. Because...
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    October 16, 2019
    I Hope It’s Not Raining In Reno
    A Millie and Sven road trip and slide show. The first night of our trip to...
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    October 14, 2019
    No Time
    By guest author, Vol Lindsey 10/14/19 When you are seventy years old and a widow, there...
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    October 3, 2019
    Lordy Lordy Look Who’s
    SEVENTY-SEVEN! Eleven years ago on this very day a little bundle of a puppy was born....
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    September 30, 2019
    Most Wanted at the Car Wash
    “I am innocent!” I know. That’s what criminals always say. But in my case, it’s true....
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    September 12, 2019
    The Heart of My Sole
    Sven bought a pair of new tennis shoes the other day because his eight year old...
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    September 6, 2019
    Morphine and Toast
    “What is your pain level?” asked the pretty nurse. “Four,” answers my sweet Sven. “I’ll get...
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    August 28, 2019
    The Staging Area
    Old dogs are peculiar. Especially if they were peculiar to begin with. And our Hunter, his...
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    August 22, 2019
    Deliverance II
    The six of us waited in line to hang priceless ornaments as our mother unwrapped them...
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    August 22, 2019
    Cardinal
    By guest author Vol Lindsey. 08/20/19 Cardinal (The color of love) They had been coming around...
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    July 24, 2019
    Old Like Me
    In my twenties, I ceased to produce melanin in the roots of my hair. And then...
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    July 23, 2019
    What’s That?
    By Guest Author Vol Lindsey 7/22/19 What is that down there at the bottom of your...
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    July 20, 2019
    Dust To Dust
    By Guest Author Vol Lindsey 07/18/2019 I have said before that my brain has a mind...
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    July 17, 2019
    The Accidental Athlete
    I had been pedaling my bike for days and days. Week in and week out. And...
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    Is it Spring Yet?
    By the Way
    July 4, 2019
    By the Way
    So many meanings for three letters, BTW.
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    June 19, 2019
    That One Guy
    “It’s an eyesore,” complained our hoity toity canine. He was talking about the deck my sweet...
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    June 12, 2019
    101 Reasons Not to Eat an Apple a Day
    An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Is a well known saying to a generation...
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    June 11, 2019
    Almost No Regrets
    By Guest Author Vol Lindsey 6/10/2019 I turned 70 the other day. 70. I got here...
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    June 3, 2019
    School of a Def Dog
    “Pour some sugar on me, baby!!!!” This is Hunter’s favorite line from Hunter’s favorite song. He...
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    May 25, 2019
    House of Rude Sleepers
    Fine. I will admit it. I am a cover hog. But, that does not make me...
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    May 16, 2019
    Nerd Alert
    A). What are the odds that a person owns a slide rule? B). What are the...
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    May 10, 2019
    The Power of Paint
    When life gets you down. Get out your brush. Or else go to the hardware store...
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    May 3, 2019
    The Mallow Cup Discussion
    “Everyone was doing it,” he said. My sweet Sven and I were sitting on our living...
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    April 16, 2019
    Les Soups Stories
    Our favorite cookbook, like everyone’s favorite cookbook is worn out, full of scribbles and some of...
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    April 6, 2019
    King of Jungle is Grounded
    Article by Gertie Judgemore Hunter, Tug-o-War Champion of the World and newly crowned King of the...
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    March 30, 2019
    Retirement 101
    Millie Noe here. Philosopher of life. Knower of all. Master of nary a thing. That is,...
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    March 23, 2019
    Secret Lives of Kings of Jungles
    Hunter is my little puppy dog. And, King of the Jungle. The wildlife around here and...
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    March 18, 2019
    Hotel Juniper
    My Sweet Sven planted a bush. “It’s a Juniper,” he said. “Oh,” I said. “Don’t worry....
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    March 4, 2019
    The Other Long Winter
    By Millie Ingalls Noe “It was called, The Long Winter.” My sweet Sven was talking about...
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    February 23, 2019
    A Single Key
    A twisted fable. My great grandmother, Big Grandma Noe, was a tiny woman. They say she...
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    February 7, 2019
    Number One Fan
    Two weeks ago today my life was changed forever. Again. It is almost unbearable. But, the...
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    January 23, 2019
    Pecatonica
    When I was a kid I wanted to live in Pecatonica. I didn’t know where it...
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    January 13, 2019
    Pinheads
    My little puppy dog is not fat. His head is just getting smaller. And I just...
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    December 31, 2018
    The Snowball Effect
    “Mom says you got the all clear sign, Millie!” said my sister, Louisa. “Yep,” I answered....
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    December 25, 2018
    A Thumb is a Thumb
    It was a typical Sunday morning. I was watering the house plants in the loft. My...
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    December 11, 2018
    Put on Your Party Dress
    Dear Millie, I am just not into it this year. I haven’t frosted a cookie. I...
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    November 30, 2018
    Let Me Count the Days
    Remember how you walked in, back in 1983, filled out that application for that second shift...
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    Dear Millie
    Go Ask Millie
    November 16, 2018
    Go Ask Millie
    Dear Millie, Last November I gave my fiancée a two carat diamond on her birthday.That was...
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    November 9, 2018
    1999
    Way back when. In 1999. There was a scare. Y2K For those of you too young...
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    October 27, 2018
    Nobody is Perfect
    After all of my Sweet Sven’s mathematical calculations, he came to this conclusion. “Hunter,” he announced,...
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    October 20, 2018
    A Five Pound Aunt in a Ten Gallon Hat
    Not so long ago, hotel inspector, Millie Noe, visited the newly opened Muzz on Inn, located...
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    October 6, 2018
    Bourne Again
    A Movie Review Hunter, Sven, and I, do not always agree. You see, I am not...
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    September 23, 2018
    For the Love of Socks
    An Exclusive interview with the man with the most socks, my husband. “Sven, why do you...
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    Dear Millie
    Millie Noe it All
    September 17, 2018
    Millie Noe it All
    A little THC advice from Millie.
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    September 7, 2018
    A Microwavable Moment
    “What?” I said to my Sweet Sven. “Weren’t you listening?” “Of course I was listening.” “Then...
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    August 30, 2018
    The Closer
    You’ve got your watch dogs, your lap dogs and your hound dogs. You’ve got your flea...
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    Is it Spring Yet?
    The Muzz on Inn
    August 19, 2018
    The Muzz on Inn
    Millie Noe, hotel inspector. On duty. It was easy to get in to this place. The...
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    August 9, 2018
    Get in the Front
    And now, the line that made my mother famous. “Get in the front.” You might be...
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    Is it Spring Yet?
    My Sister’s Kids
    July 30, 2018
    My Sister’s Kids
    World's Greatest Aunt, tells story.
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    July 21, 2018
    The Other Venus and Serena
    Even though we only sing along with David Allan Coe a few times during the wee...
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    July 4, 2018
    Dogs Just Wanna Have Fun
    Yes, they wanna. Yes, they wanna. Dogs just wanna have fun. Just because Cyndi sings about...
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    June 25, 2018
    A Great Catch
    I wasn’t there that day. But I did notice the stump that was left behind. And...
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    June 14, 2018
    The Lunch Bunch
    “You got yer deep fried turkey.” “Yer cream style turkey.” “Yer turkey fried steak.” “Would you...
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    May 29, 2018
    Tug-O-War
    Once again, Hunter, Sven and I are revving up for the big day. To an onlooker...
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    May 17, 2018
    A Documentary
    My sweet Sven is convinced that there are plans underway for his seventieth. “Why do you...
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    May 11, 2018
    Give Me an F
    “I think it starts with an F,” said the little girl with directionally challenged, golden waves....
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    April 30, 2018
    Iceland
    It is so easy. All it is, is water. I think the complication begins when you...
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    April 23, 2018
    One Adam Hunter
    Hunter is one third lab. This is why he doesn’t pay any attention to any rules....
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    April 15, 2018
    Norbert
    True confessions. By Millie Noe. It was dark. It was icy. And then I took a...
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    March 31, 2018
    Life of A Pricing Specialist
    Everything I have ever aspired to be has begun with the letter A. Early on I...
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    March 24, 2018
    A Story with a Slant
    Sven’s grandpa was hard of hearing. That’s why he used to park his red pick up...
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    March 9, 2018
    Off the Back of a Box
    A girl can’t exercise these days without watching somebody sear a steak, bitch about our president...
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    February 2, 2018
    A Grouper Sandwich
    The four of us were seated under the shade of a palm tree, around a white...
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    January 22, 2018
    The Unsung Poet
    WELCOME TO THE MILLIE NOE, VOL LINDSEY, COFFEE JAMBOURI POETRY FACE OFF A NEW DAY My...
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    January 17, 2018
    Sven Eastwood
    My sweet Sven has been accused of resembling Clint. You know. The movie star. My heart...
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    January 7, 2018
    Is it a Bird?
    No. Is it a plane? No. Our perfect canine, Hunter, and I have a lot in...
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    December 30, 2017
    This Morning I Woke Up Old
    This morning I woke up old. And I am already sick of it. Remember when you...
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    December 27, 2017
    January the Second
    The Christmas tree is to the holidays what the centerfold is to Playboy. Imagine your disappointment...
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    December 20, 2017
    Best Day
    Unlike Jack and Jill who went up that hill to fetch that pail of water, we...
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    December 14, 2017
    Deck Your Balls with Max and Millie
    Max is partial to ladders and handy man tools. I am attracted to lights and sparkly...
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    December 3, 2017
    This Dump Ain’t No Dump
    When I think of dumps I think of my sweet Sven. You see, we fell in...
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    November 19, 2017
    These Boots
    A pair of boots popped up on my side bar. They were covered in peace signs...
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    October 28, 2017
    The Mole
    It all started with that mole. You see, a little time had elapsed since my last...
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    October 22, 2017
    The Psychatrist
    “What’s that?” I said to Sven, walking in the kitchen door. There was an opened card...
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    October 13, 2017
    Red Rubber Ball
    I think it’s gonna be all right. Yes, the worst is over now. The morning sun...
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    October 7, 2017
    A Diversified Living Room
    I was sitting on a chair holding a coffee cup the size of a thimble. It...
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    October 1, 2017
    The Sun
    One Friday evening, not so long ago, Sven decided to change a light bulb. It was...
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    September 16, 2017
    The Johnson Brothers
    There were four of us, my sweet Sven, Burt, Claudette and myself, staring into the yellow,...
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    August 30, 2017
    Third Place
    And now, will the third place winner, please step forward?” Something went wrong out there in...
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    August 16, 2017
    Pulp Reality
    I miss the flowers. Don’t you wish you could go back to a time when you...
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    July 30, 2017
    The Ruby Marie
    My cell rang. I pulled it out of my pocket, looked at the name and let...
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    July 16, 2017
    True Confessions
    I married a bad ass. He was born on New Year’s Eve. The year was 1948....
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    June 24, 2017
    Millie Noe, Sports Writer – A Bird’s Eye View
    Ever since the Yankees won the World Series in 1996 and the camera was forever on...
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    June 17, 2017
    No Place Like Home
    Remember back when you were the same age as the amount of times you saw The...
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    May 29, 2017
    If You Can’t Be With the Toes You Love, Love the Toes You’re With
    This is a story of a day where nothing really goes right and nothing really goes...
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    May 18, 2017
    George Meyer Taliesin
    What I really wanted was a dog. And I wanted a leash. I wanted a dog...
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    May 9, 2017
    Duck Creek
    It was before Nafta and it was back when vertical blinds were popular. I know this...
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    April 14, 2017
    The Big Heist
    You’ve heard of The Thomas Crown Affair and The Maltese Falcon. You’ve seen Ocean’s 12, Once...
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    April 9, 2017
    I SEE LONDON
    It was 3:00 PM. I’d just gotten off work and smelled of French Fries, rubber soled...
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    April 2, 2017
    Another Case of Mistaken Identity
    I paid for my gas at the pump on that cold morning in November before the...
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    March 5, 2017
    The Rock-chettes
    “Millie, the name is pronounced Rah-chester. Not Rock-chester.” “No it isn’t. It’s Rock-chester.” “There’s no K.”...
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    February 22, 2017
    Lobster Night
    The Trifecta Lobster Night is special. It is one evening a year that a certain gang...
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    February 13, 2017
    Millie Noe, Love Expert
    Dear Millie, I have been dating Sherri for a couple of months now and I really...
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    February 7, 2017
    This is My Side of the Story
    It was my first week in the credit department. I had a new desk and a...
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    January 29, 2017
    He’s Perfect
    My puppy has been showing signs of dissatisfaction with his doctor as of late. Last year,...
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    January 24, 2017
    Did Bob Dylan Die?
    “What?” I said to Sven. I was standing on the counter wiping off a shelf in...
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    January 2, 2017
    The Unspoken Truth About the Jigsaw
    Jigsaw (tool), a tool used for cutting arbitrary curves That is what Wikipedia says. What Wikipedia...
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    December 30, 2016
    Dear Millie
    Since you are an authority on holiday etiquette, I am hoping you can solve an argument...
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    December 26, 2016
    Christmas and Cousins
    The ballerina is my oldest granddaughter and to her right is my youngest nephew. The year...
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    December 14, 2016
    Dear Millie
    I am hoping that you can help me out. I have the greatest guy on earth....
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    November 27, 2016
    Scared Straight, The Real Story
    I have been washing the gray right out of my hair since I was a kid....
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    November 16, 2016
    The Dark Night
    Remember that night? The one that started out as a balmy summer afternoon, and your friend,...
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    October 30, 2016
    Happy Condoween
    Why is October special? Could it be those leaf squalls slapping you in the face before...
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    October 11, 2016
    I’m Eight and I Feel Great
    Until a few minutes ago, I was on top of the world. And then I came...
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    September 25, 2016
    Tell them Millie sent ya
    Stop in and take a peek. It won’t take long. There is just one book.
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    August 17, 2016
    The Millie and Sven Honeymoon
    “Oh my God,” I said, sitting on the seat of the city bus with my thirteen...
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    Is it Spring Yet?
    Millie’s Book Store
    August 5, 2016
    Millie’s Book Store
     
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