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Winter Makes You Wonder

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  • Is it Spring Yet?
  • Winter Makes You Wonder
  • Thoughts for Fall
  • Winter Makes You Wonder
  • A Millie and Sven Love Story

      Our noses are touching. “But, I don’t want to play golf,” I say. “If you try golf, I’ll try skiing,” he says. My mono vision has turned Sven into one giant[...]
    A Millie and Sven Love Story
    Winter Makes You Wonder
    The Cleaners
    The Cleaners
    Sven Eastwood and Tuna shine in their roles in the action packed hit series coming your...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Cousin Love
    Cousin Love
    Tuna is pictured on the left. Lucy is on the right. Yours truly is seated in...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Living on the Edge
    Living on the Edge
    Most of the changes in our lives happen behind our backs.Like the flickering of lights meaning...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Olivia Newton Reese
    Olivia Newton Reese
    They say the BS Club pot has grown larger than the power ball.Nobody has won in...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    The Case of Who’s Who
    The Case of Who’s Who
    The Plaintiff: Grandma Meow Moses (above right)Is suing the defendant for $5000.00 for ruining a pearl...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Millie Noe it All Love Expert
    Millie Noe it All Love Expert
    It is the official month of love. If you are in need of advice, ask Millie...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Chapter 3 – A Who’s Who of Who is Attempting to Murder Who Series
    Chapter 3 – A Who’s Who of Who is Attempting to Murder Who Series
    Chapter 3 – An Interview with the Anonymous Cousin Anonymous: an individual who remains unnamed or...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Chapter 2 – A Who’s Who of Who is Attempting to Murder Who Series
    Chapter 2 – A Who’s Who of Who is Attempting to Murder Who Series
    The Eccentric Eccentric: an individual who behaves in odd or unusual ways They say she came...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    A Who’s Who of Who is Attempting to Murder Who Series
    A Who’s Who of Who is Attempting to Murder Who Series
    Chapter 1 – The Opportunist Opportunist: an individual who exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    A Winter Story
    A Winter Story
    Last week, I walked out the door one morning with a fresh brewed cup of coffee...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Millie Noe It All and a Secret Letter
    Millie Noe It All and a Secret Letter
    Dear Millie Noe it all, My husband says that toilet paper should roll over the top....
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Detective for Hire
    Detective for Hire
    During the time in which I have been busy emptying, sanding and painting my kitchen cupboards,...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Sven’s Cookies
    Sven’s Cookies
    If your condiment shelf on your refrigerator door is held there by the grace of duct...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Dear Millie
    Dear Millie
    Dear Millie Noe it all, The other night my wife said, “Be careful. You are going...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Bark Man Has Something to Sing
    Bark Man Has Something to Sing
    “Cut! Millie, what the hell is that dog wearing?” Excuse me folks while I explain to...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Christmas Tree Day and the Titanic Trio
    Christmas Tree Day and the Titanic Trio
    When it comes to Christmas Tree Day, it is hard to find anyone who does not...
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    Cat Talk, the Season Finale
    “On today’s Cat Talk, Finley, the guy who tells it like it is, will finally tell...
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    Millie Makes House Call
    On today’s Cat Talk, phamous pheline psychiatrist, Millie M.D. Noe, pays a visit to the home...
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    One Rug, Two Rug, Three Rug, Dog
    When I called the agency, the woman on the line claimed they only had one left...
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    Dance Party Animals
    As soon as I clear the coffee table from my dance floor, Hunter the resident puppy...
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    My Sister’s Cat
    “Welcome to Cat Talk with phamous pheline psychologist, Millie M.D. Noe and today’s featured guest, Finley,...
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    Cat Talk with Tuna
    Welcome to Cat Talk. Today Millie M.D. Noe, phamous pheline pyschiatrist and …. “What’s that Louisa?”...
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    Cat Talk
    Join Pheline Psychiatrist, Millie M.D. Noe, with today’s featured guest, Grandma Meow Moses on, Cat Talk....
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    Peace and Carats
    “I found the carrot,” said my sweet Sven with a mouthful. “The carrot?” “Yeah,” he said....
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    Operation Clean Sheets
    It was a bright morning when I put the first load of clothes into the washing...
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    Grainy Nundays
    My sweet Sven is chopping up kindling to start a fire in the wood stove. The...
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    A Dog a Cat a Coyote and Me
    It is hard to tell whether Tuna is a dog stuck inside the body of a...
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    The Tradescantia Pallida
    Why was Shirlee-bunny on stage shaking a tambourine and singing, “You are some kind of wonderful?”...
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    Camel Straights
    My sweet Sven hurt his back. He is down for the count. A bench warmer for...
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    One Legged Nurse
    My Sweet Sven, and his side kicks, Hunter, AKA, Rin Tin Tin and Tuna, the only...
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    Minderella
    My sweet Sven and I have been invited to a ball. “What’s that Louisa?” Oh. My...
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    The Fun Committee
    Even if you travel all the way to the 0 mile marker. You will not escape...
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    The House Guest
    Meet Tuna. Tuna is not on Facebook. But if Tuna were on Facebook his profile would...
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    Stick it Sven
     
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    Give a Dog a Bone
    Hunter has never enjoyed the act of giving. But he is an expert on the act...
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    Dear Millie
    Dear Millie, I am not feeling it this year. I am not in the mood for...
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    Hotel Juniper
    My Sweet Sven planted a bush. “It’s a Juniper,” he said. “Oh,” I said. “Don’t worry....
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    The Other Long Winter
    By Millie Ingalls Noe “It was called, The Long Winter.” My sweet Sven was talking about...
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    A Single Key
    A twisted fable. My great grandmother, Big Grandma Noe, was a tiny woman. They say she...
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    Number One Fan
    Two weeks ago today my life was changed forever. Again. It is almost unbearable. But, the...
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    Pecatonica
    When I was a kid I wanted to live in Pecatonica. I didn’t know where it...
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    Pinheads
    My little puppy dog is not fat. His head is just getting smaller. And I just...
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    The Snowball Effect
    “Mom says you got the all clear sign, Millie!” said my sister, Louisa. “Yep,” I answered....
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    A Thumb is a Thumb
    It was a typical Sunday morning. I was watering the house plants in the loft. My...
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    Put on Your Party Dress
    Dear Millie, I am just not into it this year. I haven’t frosted a cookie. I...
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    Let Me Count the Days
    Remember how you walked in, back in 1983, filled out that application for that second shift...
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    Go Ask Millie
    Dear Millie, Last November I gave my fiancée a two carat diamond on her birthday. That...
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    1999
    Way back when. In 1999. There was a scare. Y2K For those of you too young...
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    Nobody is Perfect
    After all of my Sweet Sven’s mathematical calculations, he came to this conclusion. “Hunter,” he announced,...
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    Off the Back of a Box
    A girl can’t exercise these days without watching somebody sear a steak, bitch about our president...
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    A Punta Cana Connection
    I am still amazed at how many different ways a fart can be funny. I learned...
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    The DNA of a Snow Angel
    We were standing in front of my mom’s gas fireplace, toasting our buns. Our buns were...
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    A Grouper Sandwich
    The four of us were seated under the shade of a palm tree, around a white...
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    The Unsung Poet
    WELCOME TO THE MILLIE NOE, VOL LINDSEY, COFFEE JAMBOURI POETRY FACE OFF A NEW DAY My...
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    Sven Eastwood
    My sweet Sven has been accused of resembling Clint. You know. The movie star. My heart...
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    Is it a Bird?
    No. Is it a plane? No. Our perfect canine, Hunter, and I have a lot in...
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    This Morning I Woke Up Old
    This morning I woke up old. And I am already sick of it. Remember when you...
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    January the Second
    The Christmas tree is to the holidays what the centerfold is to Playboy. Imagine your disappointment...
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    Best Day
    Unlike Jack and Jill who went up that hill to fetch that pail of water, we...
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    Deck Your Balls with Max and Millie
    Max is partial to ladders and handy man tools. I am attracted to lights and sparkly...
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    This Dump Ain’t No Dump
    When I think of dumps I think of my sweet Sven. You see, we fell in...
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    This is My Side of the Story
    It was my first week in the credit department. I had a new desk and a...
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    He’s Perfect
    My puppy has been showing signs of dissatisfaction with his doctor as of late. Last year,...
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    Did Bob Dylan Die?
    “What?” I said to Sven. I was standing on the counter wiping off a shelf in...
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    I Won!
    The first thing I ever won in my life was a complete set of children’s encyclopedias...
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    The Unspoken Truth About the Jigsaw
    Jigsaw (tool), a tool used for cutting arbitrary curves That is what Wikipedia says. What Wikipedia...
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    Dear Millie
    Since you are an authority on holiday etiquette, I am hoping you can solve an argument...
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    Christmas and Cousins
    The ballerina is my oldest granddaughter and to her right is my youngest nephew. The year...
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    Dear Millie
    Adidas Yeezy Boost 350 V2 UK Black For Saleyeezy boost 350yeezy 350 boostyeezy boost 350 uk...
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    Dear Millie
    I am hoping that you can help me out. I have the greatest guy on earth....
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    Dear Millie
    I am twenty-eight. My girl, Suzette is the pertiest thing anybody ever did see. She’s got...
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    Scared Straight, The Real Story
    I have been washing the gray right out of my hair since I was a kid....
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    The Dark Night
    Remember that night? The one that started out as a balmy summer afternoon, and your friend,...
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    The Triple B Review
    The ALL-NON-inclusive Burnt Dam Hotel, located just outside Townsend, Wisconsin, has been sold. I know. Tragic.
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    Happy Condoween
    Why is October special? Could it be those leaf squalls slapping you in the face before...
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    I’m Eight and I Feel Great
    Until a few minutes ago, I was on top of the world. And then I came...
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    Thirty Years and Three Days
    I was not looking forward to the price the girl with the bleached smile was about...
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    Wilson
    Does this ever pop into your head while you are counting sheep? I know. Me too....
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    The Power of Static Electricity
    Remember when you used to drag your feet across the carpet and shock your brother with...
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    An Apartment Dog Who Moved to the Country
    Tosca Was adopted from a kill shelter, by a young couple, when he was three months...
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    The Black Hole
    “What are you wearing, Jake from State Farm?” I said into the phone. “I am not Jake, from...
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    Just Dance
    It is January and time to make a New Year’s resolution, that will change the world. That’s...
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    Merry Christmas from Millie & the Boys
    A Holiday Craft Recipe Our three granddaughters used to come over to help me ‘clean’ for...
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    The Death March, 2003
    I like things that are shiny and new. Sven likes things that are dependable and old. It...
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    Liar, Liar, Purse on Fire
    I have an aunt named Susie Le Q. She sometimes thinks that I am her aunt....
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    Dysnavigatoria
    Clutchitis The inability to drive an automobile with a clutch. Para-reversaphobia Limited skills in moving a...
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    A Great Big Brownie Smile
      If you were a Brownie, you were on your way to becoming a Girl Scout....
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    The Sylvania Trek
    [one_half][/one_half]   [one_half_last] Do not let your significant other shop for glasses unchaperoned. [/one_half_last] The year...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Millieda Marcos
    Millieda Marcos
      It looks like it’s already starting in this photograph. See how Louisa peers  into the camera, but I...
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    The Christmas Crock-Pot
    After Black Friday, it is time for Millie Noe to go shopping.  And she does, with gusto...
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    Is it a Fashion faux pas if I…..
    WEAR A BLACK PURSE WITH THESE SHOES AND PUBES?
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    Does this Scarf?
     MAKE MY PUBES LOOK TOO LONG?  
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    Wham Bam Thank You Spam
    The other morning I about spit out my coffee. There were 61 comments waiting to be...
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    The Yin & Yang of Millie & Sven
    Profanity shot out of my mouth for the first time at the age of eleven.  It...
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    REAL ID
    The last time I renewed my driver’s license they said it would be good for eight years. I...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    40 BELOW AND HOLDING STEADY
    40 BELOW AND HOLDING STEADY
      It is forty fucking degrees below zero for the one hundredth day in a row....
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    Butt Sisters Coffee hut
    “So,” I said to Sven……….”Can we buy that lot in front of the grocery store and...
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    A HOLIDAY SHOPPING FABLE
    Luckily the f-bomb technically is not a swear word, so technically, I didn’t swear. I was...
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    It’s a Boring Life
    Have you ever noticed that life can be boring?  You get up, you  shower, you get dressed, you push...
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    Must be Strong – Chapter 2
    The question remains. Did Sven ever meet face to face with his only Facebook friend and his...
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    The Squirrel
    Just thought I would mention that the squirrel that used to live here, packed up his...
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    Must Be Strong
    Sven received an email from an old Coast Guard buddy about a month ago and ever since...
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    The Accidental Skier
    “Ouch.  Jeez.  What the?”   These were the words that came out of Marty’s mouth after...
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    The Dream Bathroom
                  It all began last summer when my sister Louisa...
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    Winter Makes You Wonder
    Dead Mice Don’t Poop – A Christmas Story
    Dead Mice Don’t Poop – A Christmas Story
    The spiders sat with fine hairy legs splayed in all directions.  Some hung in the web. ...
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    The Story of Betty and Marlene
    [one_half_last][/one_half_last]I have been friends with Giselle for more than fifteen years.  About eight years ago she began...
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